A Natural High

There are times when I love silence, pure silence. It’s a rare commodity these days in our lives (we’ll mine sunrise womanat least) and so sometimes I seek it, indulge in it, and even revere it. But then there are those moments when I’m happiest, surrounded by music.

I love music. There is no better outlet for your creative, daring and wilful soul, than grooving around to a funky tune (especially a newly discovered one), at close to maximum volume.

You know that scene from ‘Jerry Maguire’ where Tom Cruises’ character is having a moment of release in the car, singing (rather badly) at the top of his voice to Tom Petty’s ‘Free Falling’. Yeah, we’ve all been there, and how good does it feel? My only gripe is that there’s never enough leg room in our car to bang that beat out hard enough and I’m just not so keen on whacking it out on the steering wheel. But damn it feels good to let yourself enjoy the music.

I’m pretty sure its primal, cause from my observations of others over the years, be it at a nightclub, a dance class or a concert, rhythm or musicality ain’t strictly necessary, certainly not to enjoy yourself.

Ok, sometimes alcohol may have been a party to ‘the party’, but smashing out a few bars of a song at the top of your voice or busting some snazzy moves on the floor amongst friends and even strangers, is surely the result of powerful forces at play. There is no shortage of studies which tell us the positive benefits of music for our brain and in turn, our mood. But we don’t need to read those studies to know that really.

At the moment, ‘The Wiggles’ get quite a bit of air time in our car and in the house and while there’s no denying it’s a little irritating at times, the boys love having a groove and if I’m honest, I’ve been known to ‘Do the Propeller’ with genuine enthusiasm too.

My eldest was in the car on the way to school the other day, when a latest pop song came on the radio and before I even had a chance to launch myself into the tune, he beat me to it, word for word, head bobbing, eyes closed and all!

I finally got myself along to an adult dance class this week (no, not that kind of dancing). First one for 15 years, so you can imagine the fallout. I used to take Jazz and Ballet classes as a youngster, for fun. The nightclub/ party scene in my 20’s was my outlet for dance, but now in my late 30’s, options and outlets to get my groove on, were thin on the ground.

Hence my need to join an adult Street Dance class. It was awesome! I am seriously unfit, a bit too jiggly in placed to pull some moves and not as fast as I used to be, but the music took me over and kept me in the moment. It was sheer joy and a welcome release to find my body moving in ways I knew it could and wanted, to the music. To hell with what I looked like!

But bloody hell am I paying for it now! It hurts to sit down on the toilet seat, it hurts to get up off the damn toilet seat. I could barely hang the washing out today. I’m embarrassed to admit that reaching for the line above me produced some audible ‘ahhs’ (I’m pretty sure I heard the neighbour close his adjacent window at this point), but small price to pay.music

It’s that point of wilful release, where we allow ourselves to let go to the music, that you can feel truly free and happy. For me there is no better natural high… that you can do on your own!

So go on, crank up your latest or greatest fav tune, whether it be on your phone, CD player, portable speaker, car radio, I-Pod (do people still own these….. no seriously?) and allow yourself a moment to just let it all go.

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The Need to find Purpose, FAST!

It’s been one of those weeks where thinking one thing and doing another were at complete opposite ends.

My loveable but untamable two year old twin boys, have done everything in their power to steer me off course from finding my life’s PURPOSE this New Year. The frequency of their tantrums and impeccable ability to know just how to annoy the heck out of one another, has left me frazzled and limp.

My attempt to be organised and on-time for school drop off and pick-ups, now that my eldest has started Prep, is a feat I truly underestimated. Work for the year has resumed and I feel slightly guilty about that. More so because I have begun to eagerly anticipate my two working day week, after a weekend filled with screaming children, disgruntled husband (because of the screaming children) and housework that never seems to make any dent in the overall running of our household.

The compulsion, no… desire, to start this year with a more definitive outlook and certain quest, has inadvertently left me feeling more drained and somewhat anxious about what I want out of life. Sounds profound I know but trust me, this first week of February has been anything but profound.

We all have those mundane, menial aspects of our lives that can quietly consume us, but I wanted to think differently this year, BE different this year and figure out if I could be more than the sum of these ordinary parts.

So where to from here? Don’t get me wrong, I want to clarify that life is pretty darn sweet for me, I mean, we are all healthy, live in a democratic war-free society, have no issues managing our finances and I even indulge in the odd bowl of ice-cream in the evening, but it is when I remind myself that I have all these things and more, that I honestly feel I should, even owe it to others, to DO or BE more! But WHAT? is the question that has been following me around these past few weeks of the new year.

As a woman, it’s no revelatory idea that we inevitably skirt (no pun intended) around this question, what do I WANT to do? We are so focused on ensuring everyone else is being cared for, that we forget to or just down right don’t have time to care for ourselves. It’s innate within us.

I liken this to the vital instructions presented in a preflight presentation ‘in the event of an emergency, ensure you have the breathing apparatus fitted to yourself first, then you can help those around you’. Surely finding one’s life purpose is an emergency and this anology has found a place in my heart of late. It’s becoming more and more apparent that if I don’t find and do what makes me happy (outside of my family), then I’m really not at my best to be with my family.

I remember the joy and vitality I regained for an evening, after taking my first Yoga class, post birth of the twins. It was the first time I had done anything purely for me in over 15 months. That alone made it special, but it reminded me how important it is to truly look after ourselves.

I don’t necessarily mean health wise, although Yoga was a deliberate choice in that regard, I mean anything and everything that brings some happiness, pleasure and purpose to your ‘self’ alone.

I know I was a better person, wife and mother for taking that Yoga class that afternoon. My husband told me so and my kids did too, in their reactions to my demeanour. I was happy, they were happy. There is no greater need to BE or DO more than that.

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Hello world!

MeYes, Hello cyber world indeed! As I make my first foray into the scary world of on-line blogging, I feel incredibly nervous, clumsy, excited and bewildered all at the same time. To be absolutely honest, I’m totally crap at anything tech related and so attempting to set up this online blog was like giving birth to twins all over again; painful, upsetting and downright exhausting. But there was this wonderful moment of elation when it just ‘worked’ and at the moment, I am feeling chuffed at simply being able to write and share it.

This too now brings with it a whole new stage of uncertainty. I feel a lot of the time uncertain when it comes to how I should raise my kids, how I should be a committed partner, how I should devote myself to my job and so on. But this time round, I reckon it’s time to put that constant, nagging voice of uncertainty into the bin and just throw caution to the wind. Let’s see where this takes me.

Yes, Hello World indeed. I’m coming at you!


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